Kidnapped!

"Well, gotta say, your kick, bite, punch, and otherwise were to be expected from our Kippary," I say, my hand still gripping her wrist. She tries to twist it free, but instead, I pull her up into my lap and squeeze the stuffin’ outta her. Yeah, it was a bit mean, scarin’ her like that, but what with one thing or another, we just needed a good ol’ fashioned Gryffindor slumber party, and that always included kidnapping. "Think we're gonna be bleedin' for the next month!"

"Bloody well deserve it," she grumbles. Her fists are balled up against my chest. "Who'd I get anyway?"

Fred's rubbing his chest still. "Well, me," he grunts. "But you aimed that time. You got George all the others."

I hold out my hand in front of her to show her the angry red teeth-marks I purposefully didn’t mend and tend. “From now on, I’m callin’ you Katie Bludger.”

"Good, then I still owe you twice," she growls, looking toward Fred.

He spreads his hands. "All's fair in love and pranks. Well then," he says. "Which hand you wanna nip, the left or the right?"

"Where's my wand?" she repeats, still clearly furious with us.

"Up your sleeve," we say in unison.

"You kept droppin' it and all," I add.

Fred coughs "Butterballcharm"

"We were just tryin' to make sure you didn't lose it!" I finish.

She pushes away and stuffs her hand up one sleeve, then the other. And surprise, surprise, there it is. "Was there a reason for bringing me here beyond natural cruelty?" she snaps, but her voice’s got that sorta weird mixture of wanting to cry and wanting to physically unhinge her jaw and bite our heads off.

"What, we need an excuse to see our favourite little Chime?" I ask, pulling her back against me again. She doesn’t know how much I was needin’ a sleepover with her, what with Friday and all. She was one o’ the first to figure out about my thing for Rosie back at Hogwarts.

"I feel so loved," Fred adds.

"I was going to bed! I have work in the morning, with your brother. Do you want to explain to him why I haven't been to sleep yet?" she snaps, but after a few minutes of huffing and trying to be mad, we see her shoulders slump in defeat. "You know I love you but that was a bloody stupid thing to do. It wasn't even funny."

We both grin. "Well, it's been years since our last slumber party. What's wrong with wanting to rekindle tradition? Not like we're keepin' you up all night!"

"What's stupid 'bout wanting to see our favourite Chaser?" Fred puts in.

"Nothing stupid about wanting to see me, but your timing and methods suck." She says sternly.

"Beg pardon, Kigglesworth," Fred says. "Our timing and methods are downright perfect. It's the rest o' the world's gotta keep up.”

"Perfect? You think kidnapping me is perfect?" She tries to stand up to face him. "Let go of me George. In a muggle neighbourhood?! Oh Merlin, what about Maggie? Honestly you two..." She gives up trying to get out of my hold and settles for just glaring at him.

I pull her up tighter and grab hold o’ her shoulder with my teeth. Not hard. Not biting. Well…not intending to hurt, that is.

"Well...let's go over this again," he says. "First you were there. Perfect? Nah, far from it. But now you're here. Perfect?" He grins rather devilishly. "Mmmm. Yeah, definitely lots closer.”

She elbows me gently in the ribs. "Vampire," she mutters. "And being there ready for bed, warm and cozy and safe is a lot more perfect than being grabbed, gagged, bound, and dragged out into the fresh air late at night in my pyjamas!”

"But they're fuzzy pajamas," Fred says, as if it ought to make perfect sense. Which it does - to me.

“Nice alliteration,” I comment and then bite her shoulder again. “Vut itsh vetter here vy our fire. An arn’ I shosy war?”

She scowls and folds her arms over her chest. "Just because they're fleecey doesn't mean they're made to endure outside temperatures at night. And 'night night sheep tight' is a play on words about the sheep picture and the word sleep, which is what I should be doing." She sounds cross but I can tell she isn't really, it's the same tone she used at school going along with the joke.

"Don't speak with your mouthful George, didn't you learn table manners?”

“You think I listened?” I ask, pulling away for just a moment.

"And sleep?" Fred asks. "People don't sleep at a slumber party!”

"You'd better let me sleep tonight. I have work in the morning, and your brother's already annoyed about my recent late night exploits." She wriggles down in my lap until her head is resting against my shoulder.

I poke her in the side and rest my cheek on her forehead. “Recent late night exploits?” I ask. “You know you gotta elaborate on that one, Kiggles.”

"Well, Prongs knows, we were hardly responsible for those. Whatever they were. Yeah, dish it, Katester." Fred sits down and settles in for a good listen.

"Well there was a housewarming party for Hannah and Neville last night, karaoke night friday, and I went out clubbing earlier in the week." She shrugs casually.

Fred and I exchange keen looks. “Right, this clubbing…”

"Well, after Halloween I wasn't gonna let Death Eaters scare me into hiding was I? So I found a nice little club to go and have a dance at.”

"Just a dance?" Fred asks expectantly. "Or did we have alittle something besides a dance?”

"Well you know I don't drink, what else am I gonna do at a club?" She pulls a face trying to look as if she's explaining the obvious to someone very stupid, unfortunately for her it comes off sounding a little too suspicious.

"Georgie, I'm thinking we need the hair curlers and the nail polish for this good a slumber party story.”

“Way ahead o’ you, clone!” I say, shifting and reaching under me. “What colour you wanna make her toenails?”

"There's no story!" She protests, turning to look at me with the puppy eyes she perfected at Hogwarts. "Georgie tell him, there's no story!”

“How would I know there’s no story, eh?” I laugh. “I wasn’t there.”

"You know me! You know I only go to clubs to dance."

I squirm in my chair and hand the chartreuse polish to Fred. “True, you do only dance at clubs. Doesn’t mean nothin’ happened later.”

"Hmmm...color, color..." Fred says, perusing the little bottles. "This'll do, but maybe something to match her cheeks? Ah, but the pyjamas do complicate that - maybe the ones on her face? Those are bright enough. Almost enough to want to make you suspicious, methinks.”

"Touch me and you'll regret it." She threatens, trying to squirm away from me. "Why get so suspicious about going clubbing, I'm a good girl remember," she says innocently.

"We're trying." Fred ignores her threats and carries on with shaking the bottle violently.

“You’re not a good girl,” I counter. “Why do you hang out with us, then?”

"Oh I know you're trying." She grumbles, "It was just clubbing, I got to sleep a little later than I should have and because someone had to keep you from getting expelled before you had any qualifications.”

I start poking her sides and her stomach, making her kick and squirm more. It’s makin’ Fred’s job quite the trick. “Oh peas, Kiggles, good girls don’t throw books at stuffy upperclassmen.”

"We were born qualified, Kiggles. Just not for what most people expect." He reaches for the moving target that is her foot and wraps his hands around it. "Ooh, so cold. Let's get your little tootsies all warmed up. And yeah, clone’s right.”

"OKAY OKAY! LEAVE EVERYTHING ITS NATURAL COLOUR AND I'LL TELL YOU!" She shouts. "I've had enough of things bein' weird colours with your brothers ruddy pink hair colour trap he set me.”

"Score!" Fred says triumphantly, grinning at me.

“Keep the polish ready, in case she backs out,” I instruct as I put my arms around her shoulders. “And I’m not lettin’ you go.”

"Great bullying oafs!" She grumbles, still squirming. "Ask your questions then and I shall answer them as honestly and truthfully as I can, vowed on Godrick's pointy sword!”

“QUESTION NUMBER ONE!” I start. “Does this night of trouble-making clubbing have anything to do with pointy swords?”

"Oh, nicely done," Fred says, looking impressed

“Thought you’d like that,” I say.

She gasps and starts coughing violently, "I can't believe you just said that!" She splutters between gulped mouthfuls of air.

"From the looks of her, I'd say she did, too," Fred says.

"No. There was no weaponry involved." She says blushing a lovely Gryffindor Scarlet.

"You're sure, Katers? Ever heard of the battle of the sexes?" Fred starts shaking the polish bottle again.

“Somethin’ tells me there was a sword other than weaponry involved indeed,” I say. “A sword is not mere metal, but also can be of flesh and bone!”

She sighs, "Okay yes...there was.”

“Ooo, this is getting’ good,” I say. “I love bedtime stories.”

"Next question!" She demands glaring at me.

“I’ll let you get this one, clone.”

Fred puts his finger to his chin, then winds up to sound scholarly, I can tell. "Was it a truly satisfying experience? In the end?”

She squeaks looking horrified, and buries her face against my neck. "Yes..." comes the muffled answer.

"Not sure why she's so shy about that," Fred tells me. "I didn't even specify which end. Your turn.”

"Bloody, irritating, stubborn, interfereing, nosy..." she grumbles quietly, still not looking up.

"Ah, Georgie, I think she's playin' our song..." Fred adds

“Aww come on, Kippers,” I say, squeezing her shoulders and laughing. “Right then, next question. We gonna get to meet this valiant sword with the enjoyable parry and?”

"No.”

Fred is quite obviously aghast. "What?"

"You heard me."

Sure I know she doesn't want to kiss and tell, or, swordplay and tell for that matter, but since when has that stopped us?

"That's hardly fair then. No meeting, Kigglesby?" I huff. "All right then. We'll have the clues now - twenty questions good with you, clone?"

"There's not alot more I can tell you," She admits, looking a little embarassed, and not in the usual humourous way.

"Oh come on now, sure you can!" I say, rubbing her foot again in the way of a casual reminder. "Was he tall, or short? Or rather inbetween?"

"By your standards, tall." She teases trying to get her foot out of my grip.

"Was he local, or a visitor?" George asks.

She shrugs. "Don't know. Visitor I reckon."

"You reckon," George says, not as a question, just a comment. "Right. Next question. How well d’you know ‘im?"

"Qualifier, George," I say. "Before or after?"

"Before."

"Good call."

"I don't. Like I said, I can't tell you much more." She sighs and wraps her arms around George, her head still on his shoulder.

"Did our little Kiggles have herself a little fling, then?" George says with a grin, though I can see it's gettin' a little hard for 'im. Oi, his mind must be on Rosie again.

"Can't we talk about someone else's sex life? I know it was a stupid but really it's not that interesting." She frowns slightly, "It was just a one off, I've never met him before, I'm not going to see him again, and for the first time it was the singularly most stupid thing I've ever done under my own will power."

"Why stupid? You had fun, right? You enjoyed it. You regret it?" George says.

"Stupid because I didn't know him, he could have been dangerous. Yes I had fun, yes I enjoyed it and yes...a little." She finishes quietly.

"Point given to the coulda been dangerous," George says.

"True, he coulda been dangerous," I admit. "But my chest and I are living proof that you can well defend yourself, Chimes. But regrets? If you were wise enough to protect yourself...why?"

"If you had any morals at all you'd know why, and just because I could take you in a muggle-fight when I was twelve doesn't mean I could necessarily defend myself against any given danger. I mean look at tonight, I fought you two and you still got me here. And don't say that was two on one, the point still counts." She shifts in George's lap, still trying to get her foot away from me. "Anyway I thought we were going to talk about someone elses sex life."

"Mine's easy," I say. "Let me tell you all about it." I close my mouth and sit in silence for a minute. "There. That was it. Truly tantalizing, eh? Bet you two are jealous!"

George just bites Katie's shoulder again.

"Georgie what's wrong? Something's up, I know it is, so don't deny it." She asks suddenly, twisting to look at him.

'Was she this good in Divination at school?" I ask, perplexed.

"Oh shush, I never took Divination, its just he's always cuddly, he's just never this cuddly unless something really bad’s happened." She wraps her arms around him.

"Yeah, the oral fixation always comes right out again too," I say, watching my clone sadly.

George catches Katiekins' pyjama collar between his teeth and tugs at it, then sighs. "Rofie foffed ee ou fer goo."

"Rosie?" Katie freezes, looking at him oddly. "You're still, or were still with her?"

He shakes his head, tuggin’ at Kate’s top. “We were twee’ies,” he explains, then spits out her collar. “If we were both single, we got together for a little company. A comfy, familiar bod to bed down with.”

"I'm sorry George." Katieboo sounds like she's trying to sympathize, but the look on her face tells me she's feeling just a tad relieved instead. Wonder why the conflicting emos...?

He just opens his mouth wide and takes a huge bite of pyjama.

"Ew don't drool on me, Georgie. That can't taste good." she says only half stern, then sighs and cuddles him tighter. "So this is why you kidnapped me?"

He shrugs. “Gueff fo. Nay’e. Niff you.”

She tries to tug her pyjama top out of his teeth, speaking gently "In English Georgie please."

He smacks his lips, tryin’ to get the taste o’ cotton outta his mouth no doubt. “Just said maybe. Miss you. Been awhile, ya know.”

"It's been too long. A lot's happened..." She shifts and buries her face against his neck.

“Yeah, guess so. For you too, huh?”

Silent nod. "Half dyin'll do that to you."

George’n I both sit up straight and she tips forward. “Half dyin’?” I ask. “Hold on there, Kip. What’s this about?”

"Year after you left I have to go get myself cursed into St Mungos." she shrugs. "Guess I missed all the bruises I got from bein' bounced around by you two."

“Cursed into Mungos?” I repeat. George is lookin’ about as keen on that idea as me. “What tosser did…what’d they do?”

"It was complicated, I wasn't the intended victim, I just got in the way. Was in the...in Hogsmead, got Imperiused to take a package up to the castle, we'd got all high security about things goin' in and out...except Lianne tried to stop me, package ripped and I touched it." She's fighting to keep her voice sounding casual, but she's gone rather pale.

I hear a squeak outta her and see George’s tightened his grip on her. “Hope they paid and good,” he growls. “Nobody curses our Kibbles.”

"He paid, most painful way I knew how to make him." She grins at us, and snuggles into George's grip.

“Good on you. Hurt ‘im where it counts,” he says, squirming until they’re more comfy. Then he bites her shoulder again.

"Cept now I reckon I owe him...saved my life Halloween..."

We both wince, though I don’t know who we’re wincing about her owing, but owing anybody who tried to kill you’s gotta suck dragon dung. “Couldntcha just call it even?”

"Near death, vs rescuing from certain death? I suppose it'd be even enough if it weren't for that damn Gryff chivalry."

She shrugs her shoulder trying to shake George loose. "It's been a busy few years. You shoulda seen my one with the Magpies though! At least 'til I got myself knocked out by a bludger too far up to ever wanna fall twice." She giggles apparently amused by her own misfortune.

“Guess you weren’t used to having less than perfect beaters,” I quip. “George and I fair spoiled you!”

She sighs, hand on heart, "Oh my heroes. Spoiled maybe, but I'm worth it." She states, fluttering her eyelashes at me.

“Course you are,” George says.

“That woulda been somethin’ to see, though,” I say. “You on a pro team. If we’d’a known, we woulda come watched a match or two.”

"I wish you coulda seen it...I've missed you two. It just weren't the same playin' without you." This slumber party idea is beginning to look better and better. Seems they both needed the comfort.

"Guess we were all to blame for not keepin’ in contact," George sighs, shifting her on his lap and clampin’ his teeth onto her other shoulder.

Katie rolls her eyes, she gave up objecting to George's teethmarks long ago. "What you two been doing anyway? I know what happened in my life, I was there. Not alot of it was pretty, got far too many bruises for my likings, and not just from Quidditch. Tell me what pranks did I miss?"

"Pixies in the ministry," George mumbles. "Ants and boysenberry syrup ink bottles, too."

"Yeah, that was a doozy. We keep that fly-on-the-wall report, clone? We could show her what fun the Ministry had with that - er, is still having with that," Fred says proudly.

George lets go of Kates with one arm, keepin’ the other firmly ‘round her shoulders. Then he snaps his fingers and clicks his tongue and a second later, the little bugger comes buzzin’ toward us.

"You pranked the Ministry? You actually did it?! Well that's you retired then surely!" She looks like she doesn't know whether to believe us or not.

"Not like they could track it to us," George says with a shrug, handing the fly to me. "Ink delivery disguise was practically seamless and we used the vents for the pixies. The ants were boarded in with the ‘ink’."

"Yeah, we covered our tracks 'specially well, knowin' ahead of time how hacked off they'd be and all."

"Besides that, we got all that practice from prankin’ Umbritches," George adds.

"But what are you going to do now? Surely there is no bigger challenge...unless you pick on some place with higher security..."

"Like our place?"

"Pranking each other? No, you've been doing that since you were babies. There's no challenge in that." She pulls a face, "You've really outdone yourselves this time, boys."

I laugh. "There are always greater challenges...like those Light Occult gits. But talkin' about them always puts us in a foul mood - hard to do, I know, but they got the formula down I suppose. So we'll hold off on talkin' that tonight." I wait until the fly turns around and backs his little butt up to show the flick, then I lift my wand and hit the lights with a "Nox!"

The replay comes on, showing the Ministry shipping departmentworkers cheerfully (not!) receiving our box. The stock people open up the crate of ink and start delivering it to the work stations, meanwhile the ants start pouring out of the crate. And when the people start writing documents and whatnot with the ink, the ants devour the documents because it's really syrup.

"You're sure they won't know it's you?" She asks slightly wide-eyed, with amusement and concern.

I look at my hands, smiling, then turning them over and inspecting them. "No pixie dust or ant markers, how's it gonna happen?"

"Just be careful!" She insists, "Both of you. I'm not here to keep you out of detention anymore."

"You'd get into trouble with me Georgie so I wouldn't worry," she says, stifling a yawn.

"Who’s worried?" He grins and squirms in his chair.

"Oh sit still! Anyone would think you had fleas." She pokes him in the ribs. "I can see you've gotten into bad habits without me poking you to sit still."

"Who says I haven’t got ‘em?" he says and sticks his tongue out at her.

"EWW! Fred make him stop!" She jumps up, nearly dislodging George from his seat.

"ACK! Get back here, you!" he says, yanking her back toward him. "You can’t get away so easy, Kibbles."

"And I have no special powers over my dear clone, no matter how much I'd love to help you, Katiekins," I say, watching them struggle with each other.

"Some gent you are!" She grumbles, tickling George in an attempt to get free.

He laughs uproariously and falls back into his chair, but his grips back around Katers and she gets pulled back with him.

I try to look appalled. "You told her you were a gentleman, Georgie?" I can't help but laugh too. "Good one!"

"Who'd I annoy in my last life to get stuck with you two?" She grumbles trying to stand up again, struggling for a while before giving up and flopping back against George.

"Musta been a doozy to get you landed with us," George chuckles, squeezing her tight.

She lets out a slight squeak being squished and turns to glare at him. "This is far too late to be awake, especially with work in the morning." She says strictly, then pauses..."oh great, I sound like McGonagall!"

"Could think of worse folks to sound like," George muses.

"Snape." Katie says at once, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Umbritches," he adds.

"A Malfoy, any Malfoy,take your pick," I say.

"Mmhmm," Katester murmers in agreement, her eyelids drifting shut, shooting open, then shut, as she fights sleep.

"Well there’s a conversation AKer," George says in a stage whisper.

"Yeah well, we probably scred a year or two of like out of her tonight, from what she says, so I suppose she's entitled," I say, finally able to get into what I've been waiting for all night. But I don need to approach this gently.

"So, you think Rosie's really making this the last hurrah, clone?" I ask.

I shift Kables ‘til her nose is buried in the crook of my shoulder and neck, then reach my chin up to rest on her left shoulder. “Yeah, I think so.”

"Prongs, that bites it does," Fred says, looking like I would if it had happened to him.

“That it does,” I say. “Even threatened to have the bouncer haul my arse out if I didn’t leave.”

"Whoa! The bouncer! What's come over 'er? Rosie's never been like that, I can see why you're saying it's different this time.”

I pull my knees up and hug ‘em, so Kippers is folded in tight. "She didn't wanna talk about it. Close as I can get is guess. She knows I don't want serious. She's always said she doesn't want serious. Only she can't not be serious with me now. I couldn't make her laugh once this past week..."

There's a gasp from the Kapers, either that or an attempt to breathe whilst being squished. "Not makin' someone laugh, Georgie...thatis serious..."

Fredgie and I smile together at her mumblings, but then things get quiet again.

"It's not like you two are the kid and the glamorous star any more, clone. She can't jerk you 'round like that any more. You're both grown and made some choices - if it's not what you want, you need to let her know too.”

“That’s not the thing,” I mumble into her shoulder. “Thing is, I’m fine with us as us, the way we’ve been last five-and-a-half years and all. We said we didn’t want serious. She was the one said it first. Never wanted a commitment. Never wanted marriage. Never wanted a relationship. And I thought things were fine. Just all of a sudden, she accuses me of having feelings for her and then when I tell her no I don’t, but I think she does, she doesn’t wanna talk about it and tosses me out.”

"I dunno," Fred says almost sadly. "Just doesn't seem right, you without Rosie."

I shrug. “We’ve been without before. Just strange that it’s the last time, you know? It’s the end of it. Four years of wanting, five years of having. Nine years is a long time to come down from.”

"At least it sounds like you're on the right side of the feelings issue, if it's going to take some coming down," Fred says, quieting his voice when Katiedid stirs. "It'd be a right nasty bugger if you thought you loved her or something."

“Never did. Close as it was was Hogwarts. But she is special. Even if she’s a was now.” I shake my head. “Just wonder how long she’s been feelin’ things for me. How long I been stringin’ her along and all.”

"But it's not stringin' someone along unless you know you're stringin' them along," he says. "And it sounded to me like up till now she was very willing. You didn't talk her into anything."

I shake my head. “Funny that, actually. She never leaves that pub o’ hers, so I’m always the one comin’ to her. Maybe it’s a good thing this is ending? I can’t always be the one makin’ the moves. It’s a bit unfair.”

"Could make 'er leave...rats'd do it." Katie shifts in her sleep.

We both look at her. “Love when she talks in her sleep,” I say. “Fun to see the weird sorta things she says. Wonder what she’s dreamin’ about.”

"Probably Mr. The Other Night, though it's bad if she's already thinkin' of him as a rat," Fred says. "And yeah, I s'pose it should be more a two-way street if it's got both you and Rosie involved."

I scooch down in my chair a little more. “So maybe this is a good thing,” I say again. “Just gonna be a bit lonely, I guess. Pads, nine years, Clone.”

"Long time," he agrees. "But I know you loved 'em while you were havin' 'em."

I nod. “Didn’t hate ‘em, that’s for sure,” I mumble. “It’s nice to have company, familiar company. Somebody you know wants the same as you and all.” I feel a lump rise in my throat and bite Kippary’s shoulder again.

She stirs, grumbling slightly. "s'okay Georgie...don't cry."

"Well, just sorry to see such a good thing for ya go, mate. That's all," Fred says, leaning over to look in the nail polish box under my chair and pulling out a bottle of chartreuse to toy with.

I nod and feel the lump fightin’ its valiant fight. Kiggles’ sleep-talk’s givin it fuel for its fire, I think, and my eyes squint. I swallow and stuff my face into her shoulder. “Me too,” I say, thinkin’ if it weren’t my voice squeakin’ it’d be right funny.

"Things'll look better in the mornin'" Katie nuzzles in tighter.

"Yeah, they should," I agree, shaking the little bottle of nail polish and watching the liquid swirl around inside.

I see George’s arms tighten even more around Kigglesby, and his shoulders bob up and down a few times, followed by a quiet sniff.

"There, there, mate," I say, patting his bare foot, since it's the only part of him bare and/or uncovered by a certain Gryffindor ex-teammate.

George says something, but it’s so muffled through tears and Katie’s shoulder, anybody else’s guess is as good as mine.

With nothing else to say to the poor blighter, I sit there shaking the polish bottle in silence for a few minutes. Only time can fix this gaping wound. There’s a bit more sniffling and then a few shuddering sighs to follow that, but finally all I hear is the regular, deep breathing of my clone sleeping. I’m glad for that.

I let loose with a good, deep sigh and wish there was more I could do. Looking at the two of them, I realize there’s not much of anything I can do…except maybe one thing. Just as I go to return the nail polish to the box, I realize there’s a very naked foot down there – wait, two! – and darn if they both don’t need some chartreuse nail polish to cheer their little piggies. What better way to brighten a bloke’s new day tomorrow than to wake up with blinding yellow-green toenails!

For the better part of fifteen minutes I work hard to provide a very professional (if I might say so myself) –looking pedicure for the clone in my life, thinking all the while about the sadness between him and Rosie. But life goes on, I s’pose, and tomorrow’s another day. Unable to think of another appropriate saying or cliché, I yawn and stretch, noticing how damned comfortable those two look up there.

I crawl up into the chair with the two of ‘em and wedge myself between KatieBug and the chair arm. George’s arm is squashed behind me but no matter, he doesn’t move a muscle. I snuggle against her back until the warmth surrounds me – and the last I remember thinking is that this has been another slumber party to remember.